Sunday, August 26, 2007

Drunken terrorist joggers, oh my!

I haven't posted all week, partly because I've been really busy, partly because I've actually been in a good mood, and partly because my daily scan of the liberal pinko blogosphere hasn't yielded much to raise my ire.

Until now.

I will take the liberty of posting the sordid tale in its entirety:
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Two people who sprinkled flour in a parking lot to mark a trail for their offbeat running club inadvertently caused a bioterrorism scare and now face a felony charge.

The sprinkled powder forced hundreds to evacuate an IKEA furniture store Thursday.

New Haven ophthalmologist Daniel Salchow, 36, and his sister, Dorothee, 31, who is visiting from Hamburg, Germany, were both charged with first-degree breach of peace, a felony.

The siblings set off the scare while organizing a run for a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers, a worldwide group that bills itself as a "drinking club with a running problem."

"Hares" are given the task of marking a trail to direct runners, throwing in some dead ends and forks as challenges. On Thursday, the Salchows decided to route runners through the massive IKEA parking lot.

Police fielded a call just before 5 p.m. that someone was sprinkling powder on the ground. The store was evacuated and remained closed the rest of the night. The incident prompted a massive response from police in New Haven and surrounding towns.

Daniel Salchow biked back to IKEA when he heard there was a problem and told officers the powder was just harmless flour, which he said he and his sister have sprinkled everywhere from New York to California without incident.

"Not in my wildest dreams did I ever anticipate anything like that," he said.

Mayoral spokeswoman Jessica Mayorga said the city plans to seek restitution from the Salchows, who are due in court Sept. 14.

"You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know," she said. "It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious. We're thankful it wasn't, but there were a lot of resources that went into figuring that out."
Have we as a society become so fucking paranoid that the first thing you think of when you see "powder connected by arrows and chalk" is that it just must be terrorist-related? I'm willing to give the average terrorist the benefit of the doubt and presuppose that he would not want to draw lines on the ground directing everyone to his bioterror materials. Of course, I'm not a terrorist, so what the hell do I know?

I am also flummoxed by the comment "It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious." What, uh, exactly would be more serious than a terrorist???

Besides, if you've ever been to a Hasher party (which I have), you would know that they are generally far too drunk to be a danger to anyone in a GWOT sense.

I suppose we should thank Karl Rove and his ilk for making everyone so damned paranoid that I am afraid to use baking soda in my own fridge anymore for fear the maintenance guy will call Homeland Security on me.

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