All I'm asking for is my own frickin' tank, people!

The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank has been a mainstay of my Amazon.com wishlist for some time now, but to no avail. The nearly-$20K price tag is a bit daunting, sure, but is it so much to ask for that I be able to cruise around town at 40 mph in my own "unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank"?

Seriously, check out this sales pitch:

The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain.

Of course, they do stress that it is not licensed for use on public roads, but a man can dream. Those Digigrade Stilts would be pretty cool, too:

What I find especially amusing about the Badonkadonk, though, is the list of "also viewed" items associated with it that appears at the bottom of the page. This list includes a custom relaxation chamber, a gallon jug of milk, an inflatable party sheep, and a dead rabbit. Seriously, who buys milk online? I guess if you buy it in enough bulk, it is worth the shipping cost, but it still seems odd. Don't get me started on the rabbit.

Getting back to my original point, though...who wouldn't want their own battle tank? It's too bad that I live in a town with no adjacent deserts or salt flats to really rip it up, but we do have an awful lot of parks and green spaces that need protection from a custom-built battle tank.

My birthday is in September, FYI.