Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Swedes are coming for you...

As I was embarking on a trip through the local IKEA store yesterday, I happened upon a scene that made the very red of my oh-so-American blood boil...

A Swedish flag, flying at the same level as the Texas flag. AND the American flag.

As we all know from my comments on a nutjob in Reno who committed criminal mischief, it is illegal to fly another nation's flag even with the Stars and Stripes.

As we also all know from my comments on how the War on Terror has made us all incredibly stupid, IKEA was recently the setting for an alleged-attempted terror attack by drunken joggers.

Now my crack investigation skills have revealed the following chilling information:
I can only conclude the following: Sweden is conducting a covert campaign to conquer and colonize America. We must fight IKEA at every turn--could it be possible that, if you assemble the parts correctly, a trained Swedish operative disguised as a helpful IKEA employee could construct, say, a tank?

Beware, America, for the TYLĂ–SAND conquest may be soon at hand! Can I get a "Hell ja"?


tODD said...

Afraid I have to disagree with you here, based in part on my years of Boy Scouting and also a hasty Google search.

From what I can find of the Flag Code, the prohibition reads as such: "(c) No other flag or pennant should be placed above or, if on the same level, to the right of the flag of the United States of America." Also, "(g) When flags of two or more nations are displayed, they are to be flown from separate staffs of the same height. ... International usage forbids the display of the flag of one nation above that of another nation in time of peace."

cryptic_philosopher said...

Okay, I didn't read my own earlier post very carefully.

But do you know where the Swedish flag was??? To the right!!!

I think. I meant to snap a picture on my Blackberry, but I guess I wasn't quite that outraged. It might have been to the right of the Texas flag.

Anyway, I for one welcome our new tall blonde overlords.

tODD said...

Ah, but Dave, the question is: to the right of what? In the context of the Flag Code, things are defined from the viewpoint of the flag, as it were. Thus, if you're standing in front of Ikea facing the store (and the flagpoles), it would be against the Code to have the Swedish flag to the left of our flag.

This, frankly, is why my smalltalk at parties never goes very well.

cryptic_philosopher said...


That, tODD, was the sound of you blowing my mind. You are welcome at my parties.