Good thing I didn't see this in 2004...

...or I might be a Kiwi by now:

Every week, successful Americans are making the decision to sell up, pack up and move out to a small nation in the South Pacific. Why?

Try freedom, a more relaxed pace and a new life in a land abounding with fresh and exciting opportunities and possibilities. And you’d be on the right track. Those who’ve experienced New Zealand tend to agree that it is one of the friendliest nations under the sun. It has a population of just over four million and one-third of the country is protected by national parks; but that doesn’t leave this small yet diverse nation without sophistication.

I reached this site through a banner ad.

For the dreamer in all of us

A bit more serious this time. This one is cute, touching, and a little troubling, but I liked it.

What's up with this?

As long as I'm on the topic of famous hotties, why do so many country singers seem to have problems with being cheated on?



Here's one I can't seem to embed.

Finally, this is a nice counter-argument:


What's up with all the truck vandalism, by the way?

Now for some really important news

Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for, you know, pretty much giving the finger to our entire system of justice. Insert your own "Caged Heat"-style fantasy here.

This was my favorite part:

Kathy Hilton, red in the face, then walked up to one of the prosecutors and screamed, "You're pathetic." She then asked sarcastically, "Can I have your autograph?"

The prosecutor to whom Hilton had delivered her outburst completely ignored her, said Edwards.

About half a dozen sheriffs' deputies then approached Kathy Hilton, who screamed at them, "Don't you touch me, don't you touch me."

As the family was about to exit the courtroom, said Edwards, Kathy Hilton declared for all to hear, "[The judge] made up his mind before he even came in today. If it were anyone else, this would've never had happened."

She then exclaimed, "And after all the money we spent!"

In other unintentionally funny news, Jessica Biel doesn't like being called the Sexiest Woman Alive:

Biel, who was named Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive" in 2005, says in the June issue of Elle that the honor hurt her career.

"[One director told me,] 'I'm not looking for the sexiest woman; I'm looking for the girl next door,' " says Biel.

The funny part? The magazine where this quote appears has this cover:

Far be it for me to discourage Ms. Biel from such displays--after all, I only watched Stealth because of this:
Otherwise, the movie was pond scum.

Here's some gratuitous Biel (NSFW):
From The Rules of Attraction:
I have no idea why this one is in German:
Okay, last one, I promise:

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What America needs

If you need a reason to support Dennis Kucinich for president, look no further than hot redhead Brit Elizabeth Kucinich as future First Lady.

Am I being any shallower than the rest of the political discourse these days? Seriously, she could really smooth things over with that accent.

Pardon me while I mock someone's grammar

I'm not sure if this is a grammatical problem or a semantic one, but who really cares anyway? A post from yesterday about the President's totally unsurprising veto had this passage:

Today's Washington Post contains the headline, "April Toll is Highest of '07 for U.S. Troops". More than 100 Americans have been killed in the past month. This brings the death toll, the ultimate cost for this "War of Failed Leadership" closer to the 3500 mark then ever before.

Now here's the question: the death toll is closer to the 3500 mark "than ever before" (I'll skip over the spelling error and go for the jugular)--how could we have been closer to 3500 at some point before now? How does a death toll go back down after it goes up? I've studied quite a bit of history and followed the news most of my life, and I am quite confident that death tolls only go in one direction. I guess you could question the methodology by which the death toll is calculated (i.e. initial estimates overshot the mark), but I don't think that's it. Most likely, it was a poorly chosen cliche in a hastily written post, but it still messed with my head when I read it.

Also, how sad is it that I am turning to semantic (or grammatical) mockery to avoid thinking abouit what a complete clusterfuck this whole thing is?